Pleasing God Podcast
Pleasing God Podcast
The Art of Handling Criticism
When criticism arrives (and it will), how should followers of Christ respond? Pastor Mike Woodward joins host Jonathan Sole for a powerful conversation about navigating the thorny territory of criticism with biblical wisdom and grace.
Drawing from decades of pastoral experience, Mike reveals his proven framework for understanding critics: controllers seeking power, complainers expressing unmet expectations, and constructive voices offering genuine help. This distinction becomes crucial for determining how to respond effectively rather than reactively. The conversation explores biblical examples like Jesus, who silenced critics with truth rather than defensiveness, and Nehemiah, who refused to be distracted from his God-given vision.
The discussion gets refreshingly candid as both hosts share personal stories of criticism that stung deeply—from anonymous letters to public challenges. Mike reveals a profound personal realization: "I would distinguish my criticisms differently... but yet we're all the same." This insight led him to create a prayer approach that transformed how he views critics.
Practical wisdom abounds as they unpack how to respond with grace even when your internal reaction screams otherwise. Mike shares his leadership principles for navigating criticism during times of change: "What's first or priority? What to watch for? What to wait for?" Meanwhile, Jonathan offers the sobering reminder that "good leaders never offend unintentionally."
Whether in ministry, the workplace, or family relationships, this episode equips you with biblical strategies for handling criticism: listen carefully, seek accountability, respond in love, pray for critics by name, and keep moving forward. Mike notes that criticism is sometimes "God's means of chiseling away my pride." This conversation will help you see criticism not just as something to endure but potentially as a divine tool for your spiritual growth.
Stock Music provided by wolfgangwoehrle, from Pond5
Hi and welcome back to the Pleasing God podcast, a show focused on helping Christians to think biblically, engage practically and live faithfully for the glory of God. I'm your host, jonathan Soul, and on this episode I have a special guest with me, pastor Mike Woodward, who is the lead pastor at Ocean State Baptist Church.
Speaker 2:Yes, Ocean State just voted a name change.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, Last month.
Speaker 2:Church of the Cross.
Speaker 1:Okay, when does that happen?
Speaker 2:It's in the process now. They voted Okay. And the inside, outside, all that stuff's taking place over the next few months.
Speaker 1:Nice Great A.
Speaker 2:Christian community following Jesus.
Speaker 1:Amen, yeah, that's great. A Christian community following Jesus. Amen, yeah, that reflects exactly who we are and what we desire to be Well, interesting, with that name change, this topic might have some.
Speaker 2:Most definitely.
Speaker 1:For sure. So on this episode we want to talk about dealing with critics and responding with wisdom and grace, and so let me just throw a question out to you, mike how do you handle criticism? I mean, pastors don't get criticized, but if they did right, how do you deal with criticism professionally in the ministry and just generally as a person?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean. The comical answer I want to say is run, you know, or crawl up into a ball. The comical answer I want to say is run, you know, or crawl up into a ball. Right at times I handle criticism today always, I think, out of the gate. It always is looking at what it actually is, because I feel that criticism that I've been through over the years has three dimensions to them, and you have critics that are controllers, critics that are complainers and critics that are constructive. So it always is the source, because I mean, if somebody comes that I know loves me, cares about me, cares about the ministry, cares about Christ's glory, and they are offering input, it may be criticism but it may not be negative, and I'm open to that.
Speaker 2:I think I can learn from all three categories, though. So I always am thinking like, immediately, it's just in my mind to look at, consider the source of what it is. You know, controllers are criticizing because they're seeking some kind of power, they're not happy about this, and those folks I try to make myself unavailable to be honest with you. I've learned to just realize they're going to say, what they're going to say, but I've got to have God's agenda. I got to know what God's vision is, especially as a pastor. If I'm being criticized for those decisions, I know I make mistakes as well, so I'm going to be open to listen to that. But I do find there are people who are criticizing merely because, as I joke around and say, they are people who were saved in crabapple country and baptized in pickle juice. So I see that immediately and I know the source.
Speaker 1:Sure, sure, yeah, and I think that's important to think about of just with criticism kind of. First, those categories are fantastic too. And considering the source is this a serial offender, is this a brother or a sister who loves me, loves Jesus? And I know, in my own life too, handling criticism, I want to, when in doubt, err on the side of charity.
Speaker 1:And I don't want to initially have a hermeneutic of suspicion with any form of criticism, although inwardly I still might and I want to kind of even check my own heart about that but really kind of accepting it with a sense of humility of, like you might be, your criticism might be 95% wrong, off base with selfish motivation and intention, but there might be a kernel of truth in that. And what can I learn, even from maybe you with not the best intentions that I could evaluate, or maybe that was a blind spot that you could have hit me with a little more grace, but you still showed me something. And just trying to, with humility, navigate that, I think I've done it. For me personally, I've done a decent job of outwardly handling criticism well and then inwardly replaying it a lot and it's like okay, I need to get my head, my heart, my hands all aligned with that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think that perspective, especially in a pastoral role, we have to know. I think it was Thomas Akempis that said vain is the help of man, and that idea is that it's not constant, it's not sustainable. So criticisms happen, but I need to make sure my focus is on God. So I agree with you prayer, because I can imagine in my own mind many of those mornings replaying something in my own head, trying to process things. But learning how to pray, learning how to think about what Paul is saying, Am I seeking to please God in this? Am I seeking Him and His glory and being open to say did I make the right decision there or what is it that's being criticized exactly? Is it something I can change? Is it something that they're just being petty about, which is more of a controller thing? The controllers, I don't think, have our best in mind. I think that they just it's a power issue, it's a power struggle. Um, and I was telling you earlier, uh, I have a list that I keep on my wall in my office where, uh, it's a confronting controllers and negative critics, and the top it says pay more attention to your creator than your critics, but it will happen. Don't speak their language.
Speaker 2:I think I'm quoting Taylor Swift here. But haters gonna hate. I don't think she originated that. But some can only be dealt with through prayer and fasting, because I've been through that with some of the issues that I've dealt with. Ministry trial-wise. When navigating through change, transition or difficulties, expect antagonism, Like if you're making changes and God's giving you vision, the whole scope of scripture tells you we're going to face that. Isn't it funny how Moses, you know he goes and tells all the people in the beginning of the chapter says God has told me to come to you. And it says at the end of that chapter it says like and all the elders bowed their head Within another chapter they hate his guts and they want him out.
Speaker 1:So it's like I think we have what have you done for me lately? We?
Speaker 2:have a biblical record here. Silence is an answer too. Don't let the conflict be about you. It's about God's vision. Direct them to God, don't become a victim. And then I have the last one. I had added over time, set up structure in leadership to block controllers and negative critics. So I have a gate of people that guard me the deacons, the elders, some of my staff members. They understand that too, and we do it for each other.
Speaker 1:That's great, and a lot of the principles there can translate to beyond, just pastoral ministry, just in life or in your profession, whatever it is, knowing that in this life there will be trials and tribulations, there will be critics. And when we think about biblical examples of dealing with criticism, we reference Moses. I think about Jesus and in Matthew, chapter 22, the Pharisees are coming and plotting against him. They come with flattery first. Yeah, beware of the flatterer too. The people that sing your highest praises can also turn around on you quick. There's red flags on both sides. And so they come. We know you're a good teacher, but they're trying to trick him and they're trying to criticize him, and there's a whole list of sabotage events against him. They send the Sadducees about marriage in heaven, trip him up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, should we pay taxes? I mean, what should we do? And they're just trying to get everything. They're critics and they have bad intentions, and when we look at Jesus how he responded to critics, it was with truth and wisdom.
Speaker 2:Timely relevant holy speech as well.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and just like your categories there, he didn't get to their level and he did not respond. Evil for evil, of course, but that truth and wisdom, he silenced his accusers and his critics and I think, as we're committed to wherever our sphere of influence in life is committed to following the model that Jesus lays out, we can be able to navigate and respond to criticism without sin. And I think that's very important because, man inwardly, my flesh, yeah, we want to be defensive, we want to react.
Speaker 2:We have but some of the stuff that people sometimes bring to us. We might even be saying about ourselves to God, yeah, and yet when somebody else says it, we don't want to hear that.
Speaker 1:That could happen too, you reminded me of a Spurgeon quote. He said something along the lines if anyone speaks evil of you, just recognize you're worse than they said.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly as Spurgeon could say Keep your feet on the ground, man.
Speaker 1:Yeah, don't worry, you are worse than that. Paul's another example of how he faced opposition but remained steadfast. Think about the Corinthian letters, especially I mean the church in Corinth 2 Corinthians, 10.10,. You know he's dealing with his critics and he says concerning them. They say his letters are weighty and strong, but his bodily presence is weak and his speech is of no account and they're just dissing him. And you kind of see Paul's defense of his ministry and I think there's a way that we can defend but not become defensive. Um, and I think paul gives us an example there in second corinthians.
Speaker 2:It's transparent you know, it's like I'm doing this and it's almost like he's almost writing to god in that text not to them, because god's his witness that you know. Here's what I'm doing. Here's how I'm doing.
Speaker 2:Here's who I've been he doesn't care which I think is another large piece with in this scripture with paul to. Something I've thought a lot about through the years and I've written about is that and it's humbling to think of it because it also is about that source, but it's also I noticed there were some people who criticized I didn't care at all, it didn't stick to me, it didn't affect me, but yet there were others that did.
Speaker 2:And over time I began to kind of pay attention to this and it really brought me to this point in my own journal writing to really examine this Like what's really the issue here? Why did I care so much about this? And it wasn't because of the relationship Okay, because many of the people on this side. It may have been like Paul would say in Galatians, that he didn't care about those who supposedly were leaders of influence. He didn't care one minute. He was there to tell the truth.
Speaker 2:And I started writing about the fact that I needed to see us all as worms and I was like I shouldn't. Just because these people don't have the clout or the political clout or the financial clout, there was something I was doing in placing them like in the psalm. I read this morning in my devotion time, psalm 39, that men, we're like a breath, but yet I would distinguish my criticisms differently too, and I started to say I ought to see it all in that spectrum and then go to God. I want to hear it, but I let some of it bother me. But yet there's people I won't, but yet we're all the same. I don't know if that is too deep, but transparently, I wrote a lot about that in my journal in the last several months where I was like it can't be like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know that I opened up joking saying pastors don't get criticism because it's totally tongue in cheek and one of the things just concerning pastoral ministry, you gotta have alligator skin. It's not for the faint of heart. But at the same time we're not just dismissing individuals. Their voices matter.
Speaker 2:Alligator skin, but a heart with ears.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's right, I'll put it that way, and as we think about visionary leadership, nehemiah is my man. Yeah, good point, good character. What did he do? He had a vision, and I mean there's a previous podcast on Nehemiah's blueprint for leadership that I did and I'll just go back to that and listen but how, he saw the need and he goes to prayer.
Speaker 2:He doesn't just go to.
Speaker 1:I got to get this job done.
Speaker 2:He goes before the Lord, he has the vision.
Speaker 1:It's what I had said in that go to God, direct it to God, stay silent, go to God, yeah that's right, it's beautiful, and then, as he is carrying out, vision becomes reality and it's the rebuilding of the walls. You got this character, sanballat, and he just is going after him. Nehemiah 4. And Nehemiah just shows us a great example of overcoming criticism, and not to minimize, I mean, criticism can hurt and it does, but he doesn't let that occupy and rent space in his head for free.
Speaker 2:He does a good job. I've used that too, because I have received letters from people of criticism which, honestly, I think are tough, you know, because now it's not verbal, it's not something hearsay, it's not something even they said to your face, but they've penned it, you know, and they've sent it in the mail. I've gotten these and they're bad, you know. They've sent it in the mail. I've gotten these and um, that they're bad, you know, and they can really hurt. And but you see him, when he gets those letters, he goes I don't have time. They want him to come up there to distract him. He's like I don't have time for that yeah, he's about god's word yeah, and you really, we really have to.
Speaker 2:It's self-control, it's temperance, um, you know the the thing too with complainers. You kind of you hit on it too, because some of the criticism is not controllers, it's complainers. And I usually have things in my brain so I can remember it, so I can kind of it's just the way I navigate, and probably a year or two ago I realized a few things about people complaining. There were three things I found underneath that, which I broke it down so I could remember it Ears, ego and expectations. So I found out that a lot of the people complaining with criticism were people that actually didn't hear. They weren't listening to what was said. It usually revolved around something they weren't paying attention to. So they're criticizing the announcements.
Speaker 1:Yeah, sure.
Speaker 2:They're criticizing. They didn't know and it's like I realized wow, a lot of these critics. It's an ear issue, it was stated.
Speaker 2:It was, and then I found ego is huge. I mean, obviously, in everything we've said so far, everything that Jesus dealt with, moses dealt with, paul dealt with, nehemiah dealt with, it's come down to pride, yeah, and so ego is a big piece they need to tell us. And the other one was expectations, which I think, in the role of a pastor, if it comes to that piece, the expectations can either be they have us low or they have idolatrous expectations, and here we are just trying to. We're growing too. Like Paul tells Timothy, let your progress be seen by all, which is proof that we haven't arrived, but yet people think we have. So then, therefore, they're ready to criticize when they think, well, you didn't do that, right, right, you know. And so that's helped me also balance it out, to know like, okay, that's what that is and it's normal. How am I going to respond to it?
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's great. So, and thinking about responding kind of biblically to criticism, just a couple passages of scripture that come to my mind is responding biblically with grace. In Colossians, chapter four, verse six, we are told to let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, because, oh man, that's a landmine right there If I give in and then I fire back, whether it be verbal or typing it out. There's a big rule Never type emotion like that.
Speaker 2:I always say email and texting is for information not correction. And that's kind of a funny thing in our church, because people know Pastor Michael will call you.
Speaker 1:I'll say give me a call, here's my address, come talk, you need to hear my tone, you need to read my body language, all the things that I can't do on email, and then I allow you to become the interpreter, and I don't want that to happen. It's vital, yeah, it is so. Letting our speech be gracious and so doing so just is a great way to sometimes even diffuse criticism or the critic themselves. Also, wisdom we touched on this with Jesus, but Proverbs 26, verses 4 and 5, basically tell us we need to know when to answer yeah, ah, and, according to your list, self-control. We need to know self-control and when to be silent yeah, and when to just take it on the chin yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, and I— Absorb it yeah. There's—.
Speaker 2:You know I use this, I use the matador. We've called it the matador principle because some stuff that's said we have to be like and I'm not trying to be crass, no pun intended, but you're trying to let the bull go by, okay, sure, and the whole idea of the matador is to let the bull go by without engaging a fight and a battle. So there has been that response where the criticism come and you can say thank you for that. I appreciate that and let me think about that and that's basically stops it, because I've watched that spin, the matador principle where we say this is one of those situations where we are going to listen we're not trying to diminish or be condescending, but there are some of those cases where you are going to listen, we're not trying to diminish or be condescending but there are some of those cases where you do have to let the bull go by, you know, and be able to do it wisely, carefully.
Speaker 1:And there are some that criticize and I'm not even talking about negative criticism or destructive criticism. There's some that you know do, constructive and destructive and they just kind of teeter back and forth at time, um, but there are some that I have found in my life that offer criticism and they just want to know that you heard their criticism. They're not even necessarily wanting you to do something.
Speaker 2:You know so many times they don't many times, especially the complaining critic. I've noticed, uh, because there's great, there's three big questions. Uh, would the one would be and I say this to people, our staff has all three too and they say what would you suggest? Because I've noticed, when the critic says something, if you just ask them what would you suggest, it puts it right back and I learned this a decade ago and I would say what would you suggest? Do you have an idea how we can do that? Do you want to fix it? And right away, this diffuses the whole thing.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, it's a great. I don't even call it a tactic, but it is a. It's a tool. Yeah, it's very useful. We can.
Speaker 2:Kind of places it back to them. Yeah.
Speaker 1:My children do this often.
Speaker 1:They come to me with problems about you know so-and-so did this, yeah, yeah yeah, and a saying that I have with them is don't bring me problems, bring me solutions. And if we identify something that's not going well or this is a weakness in the church or whatever, it might be great, I agree with you. What can we do? Because I also want to bring it back and say well, obviously God has put this on your heart, or your mind at least, and so do you want to be part of the solution?
Speaker 2:Yeah, which they may, and generally, sadly, most people don't comment it that way that they do respond if it's a negative. But then you have because people that do want to help you with constructive criticism. They usually are saying we intuitively know that, we sense the spirit of it. Yeah, like, hey, that's, that's a good idea. How do we get? How do we do that? Yeah what are we going to do here? Which is awesome?
Speaker 1:yeah, which is awesome, and being a collaborator really helps and and and I've seen in my own experience uh, people move from you know, know, skeptic critic to supporter, to servant to and then, and then I mean they're all in.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you know, and it's like that's a great process too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and stay planted like you, man, stay planted in a local congregation and those things happen. Yeah, and it's wonderful. Yeah, and it's like all right, it's awesome. Yeah, it's awesome, and it's like all right, it's awesome.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's awesome.
Speaker 2:Big ships turn slowly or they tip was something I was saying for years, because our church was moving in transition A lot of changes, a lot of struggle and, just like you said, I watched a lot of people finally get the vision because their focus maybe wasn't on the right thing. I remember when we had to make a big change with service stuff, there was a lot of people that didn't see it. But they were not looking at. They were looking at the boat instead of looking at the ocean that we were saying we have to cross. And I remember using that illustration to say, guys, you're looking too much at the boat and you gotta first look at the ocean. This is what we we gotta do this because and then I it's amazing, because I think about some of those people now. Some of those people now they're all heavy hitters in ministry roles today, but it took me time to listen to their criticism, develop the relationship and implement over time and learn with them, because I was learning a lot then too.
Speaker 1:I think another biblical principle, too, is be patient with your critics, because you know they might be in one of those categories, but they can move and they can grow, and sometimes some of the criticism that I have faced was not unmerited, because I maybe had expectations of others that, well, of course, this is the vision, this is what we're doing. Like this and like this is, I know it's a great idea. But just because I know something's a great idea, I need to be able to communicate that effectively so that others can see it and then be patient with them, because maybe I've been processing and working on something for six months, yeah, and in six minutes, I think that-.
Speaker 2:Did your wife ever point this out to you? Because my wife has pointed that out to me. She's like, babe, you're in this thing. You're like you've got to give us time, Like you've been dealing with this for six months to a year.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because You've got the vision. I'm already. I'm trying to cover all my bases. I'm ready for six months. You need to be on board in six minutes.
Speaker 2:So I have, as you can tell, I have lots of lists because it helps me to remember and when it comes to especially transition and vision in a church, like in the role that you're in, I wrote down something to myself on an airplane coming back from California, meeting with a mentor, thinking about all the things that I made mistakes on. It was a really season of me really looking and evaluating a lot of the things I implemented over six, seven years, the struggles, the pressures, and I wrote three things to myself that I still use to this day. When it's time to make a shift, like when we were getting ready for this church name change and some of the inside stuff. I brought that list to the staff and said guys, here it is One, what's first or priority. So what's first or priority? So that was the first thing. I said what's really next here? Because and we're looking at what's important, because sometimes when we get that vision, it may not be the next thing we should be doing what's first. Then I wrote to myself what's next in the sense of, excuse me, what to watch for was the second one, and under that I wrote and I said this to a staff member yesterday speed will slow you down. So when I what to watch for Speed Because we make the decisions, like you just said transparently, we move too quick but speed will actually slow us down Then self I was like man self, if I'm too saturated in this thing, I take I get my feelings hurt or nobody's catching on or I start the negative Nellies and stuff like that. So I knew self I need to watch for.
Speaker 2:And then the third thing, which kind of fits with the first one, is sequence. How do I go? What to watch for? I need to pay attention to my sequence on this. I only knew this because I made mistakes in all those categories. And then the last one was what to wait for, because there was a lot of things that what was I really looking for here? So when I look at what's first or next priority what to watch for, what to wait for was bigger picture things, like I'm waiting for God to bless his people I want to see what this vision is. Do I really want to see this vision because I want to run it or because I want people to experience God anew in this capacity? So those were the things. I wrote a whole and I'd kind of gone back to that list, often during seasons of change.
Speaker 1:So just to share it with you as a brother. That is wisdom. That is wisdom through tried experience, through successes and failures, and learning from our own pasts, learning from brothers who have walked there, so that we can avoid landmines. Something that was instilled in me a while back from a faithful mentor and brother. He said, john, he says good leaders never offend unintentionally. He said so. You need situational awareness because if you are stepping on landmines that you don't see, you're blind.
Speaker 2:There are times that's deep. Say that one more time. Let me hear that one more time.
Speaker 1:Good leaders never offend unintentionally, and so there is a time where you know that I might have to do something offensive, but you need to know that going into that Um and that's where there's also wisdom in a multitude of council of like, hey we're, we might go knock over a golden calf right now or like we're going to go into the harness nest, but it needs to happen. Um. So I've tried to operate that way.
Speaker 2:Um, I don't always succeed but it's, it's definitely no principle. No, that's really good wisdom and I think it applies back to we're leading something that's alive. So, there's change. There's things that are solid the DNA is still there, but it's solid. But change, resistance growth is a pattern we see throughout the Bible Change, resistance growth. And you're talking about that resistance piece like, oh, how do I go on this? But what a great concept. Leaders never offend unintentionally.
Speaker 1:Yes. So just to shift, I mean, we're living in the pastoral world, we're living in church life, but we think about some that are listening and they have critics in their family. They have critics in their family, they have critics in their workplace, they have, you know, also just in their relationships. And how can let's think of just some practical steps that they can, you know, glean from what we've talked about but seek to implement in their lives that would help them navigate criticism? Because criticism is like conflict, it is there, it will always be there.
Speaker 1:So I guess maybe the first practical step is just recognize it is the inevitable. And if you're ever going to be somebody that makes a difference for the kingdom of God, as we were talking, even influence in our families, our communities, our spheres of influence, we have to accept that we wage war against darkness, against principalities, against spiritual forces in the heavenly places. If you're expecting a life of ease, without criticism, and you're going to make an impact for the kingdom of God, you have two different mindsets here and so, understanding, I think, first and foremost, we will navigate and have to deal with critics on all sides, and so one of the things that I would think is a practical step is be slow to speak and quick to listen.
Speaker 2:Just hear people. When it comes to being outside of management and leadership and being practical for a believer working in the work world, whatever their vocation, in the work world, yeah, it's different because they're not leading and they're not managing, because in those categories a lot of stuff we just said can really apply. But yeah, you're right, I think, underneath it, we both know, wherever we are, whether it's in our families, outside of the pastoral role yeah, we have to. It's listening, I would say listening, and it would be listening and the only speaking is praying to God. You know, praying for people, praying to have that wisdom that you talked about, to be able to have self-control. You know not to carry it as a deep, deep hurt and, if we can, if it's somebody that loves us, someone who cares about us that hurt us, we can talk to them about it, you know.
Speaker 1:Another one is seek accountability and wisdom. Don't process criticism in isolation. We can do that and, oh man, that can send us into a tailspin, that can put us into some dark places.
Speaker 2:No doubt.
Speaker 1:And so as you receive and get criticism whether it be in your job, family, whatever it might be make sure you have somebody that you can bounce that off of, someone that you love. It might be your spouse, it might just be a close brother.
Speaker 2:Could be a punching bag in the basement. Yeah, you need an outlet. You do need an outlet too.
Speaker 1:But seek, you know. Hey, this was said, I received this Because we have filters.
Speaker 2:You know, that's the tell me for years in my personality, which has been helpful. She said, babe, they're coming at you with a feather and you think it's a tank.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so my filter would always you know, because you know it was all this filtering that was. You just proved that point right there. Your wife spoke into your life and helped you, Mine too. Praise God for Godly spouses.
Speaker 1:Respond in love, not in pride. If you feel the defensiveness swelling up in you again, go back to listen, be slow to speak, but respond to that person, even if it's the controller. Respond in love. And ultimately we want to see people through the lens that Jesus sees people and ultimately we wanna see people through the lens that Jesus sees people. And so, because a lot of times criticism is God's means at chiseling away my pride Sure and to build humility.
Speaker 2:He uses it, no doubt.
Speaker 1:Yeah, he uses it and it could be totally wrong, yeah, but God knows. Hey, I need work done, some crucifying happens in it.
Speaker 2:I'm crucified through criticism. Yeah, oh man, oh, that one hurts. There's a book, not a lot of sales on that one that one will sell, but they'll criticize it, I'm sure, I'm sure.
Speaker 1:I'll invite it, but then it just again, I can make a second edition and then kind of a final step that I would think practically is move forward. Look at Nehemiah as an example. Move forward and don't get paralyzed by criticism. If we allowed every form of criticism and every criticism that we hear to determine our movements, we would be stuck for life and that happens, paralyzed by the pain or even the analysis.
Speaker 2:I've been in the place where I can't go back and unwind or unscramble that egg and I'm not going to deal with those emotions. But what can I and I actually, you know, look at it and say how going forward, how can I be right, you know, and with people too, because being I just had said it recently being right is never more right than being right with each other. So I need to do the right thing, even with the critic, you know, to know that there's going to be a boundary. It doesn't mean I'm going to.
Speaker 2:I have a thing I call generous silence, because I learned in the past that I would actually be silent toward people, but it was punishment. So I'm like, yep, I'm not going to talk to you, yep, you're not going to get in here, yep, you're not going to get. And I realized that's actually very unhealthy. Yeah, very. So it would be better for me, like you just said awesomely which is to be like Christ who, you see, he's so generous with everybody, even the critic. He's very patient with them. Yeah, he's gonna confront them, he's gonna tell them the truth, timely, wisdom, relevant, but he's gonna be and I call it a generous silence, where I'm gonna be careful what I say around certain people.
Speaker 1:Sure.
Speaker 2:But I'm also not gonna be mad about it, because that's just unhealthy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think. Finally, pray for your critic by name, bring them before the throne of grace by name, and I'm sure you might have a book of names. No, I don't have a book of names. I'm opening a book here, oh yes.
Speaker 2:Podcast listener can't see, but I want to say to you this is a book I've created for 10 years. Okay, and in it I have a section called when Facing Criticism or Dealing with Difficult People. I actually have Lord, grant me patience when dealing with and there's a blank line. That's right, and help me remember the negative energy withers in the face of love. Okay, and I have different ones for different scenarios Prayer for constructive criticism, prayer when you've been criticized Wow, so I've used all these. Then I have verses that go on this side that connect with the principle of it, because it is painful. I have one here, I'll show you later uh, john, uh, help me, just bless my enemies. This was written by a man who was uh in another I think it was ukrainian, to be honest with you in the past, writing how to bless his enemies. He said my enemies have helped me more than my friends have at times, because they help point out things to me.
Speaker 1:And so that's deep, that's deep, that's deep. And you know, we faithful are the wounds of a friend.
Speaker 2:We know that too, and so we thank our critics, but that's one thing.
Speaker 1:If someone criticizes you and it helps you to grow into the likeness of Jesus, even in the smallest of ways. I just want to encourage you listener to my own heart and Mike, thank that person. Thank them because they have been used by God for your growth and sanctification, no matter how much it hurts, and sometimes we just got to kill with kindness. Yeah so yeah. There's so much more we could talk about on this one, but I just want to encourage all who are listening to remember criticism is a part of life and how we handle it reflects our faith, our maturity and our wisdom.
Speaker 2:And how are we giving it? Yes, I know, Because we're critics too right.
Speaker 1:Sometimes I'm my own worst critic and I got to remember that.
Speaker 2:I'm with you, bro. We're running parallel lines on that one.
Speaker 1:So, as you reflect on maybe even recent criticism that you have received in your life, ask yourself the question how can you respond biblically to the criticism of the adversity that you're facing?
Speaker 2:Well, Mike, I want to just thank you for coming on the show and Thank you for all the wisdom today.
Speaker 1:Great, enriching conversation. I hope it's a blessing to listeners and I just want to thank you for listening to the Pleasing God podcast. If you have any questions, I would love to hear from you. You can reach out at questions at pleasinggodpodcastorg. And remember 1 Thessalonians 4.3. This is the will of God, your sanctification.
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